The code, as promised

 IF door button = pressed

{

close door

PLAY video: “I am SANDERS.mp4”

IF Seat1 = occupied ANDOR Seat2 = occupied ANDOR Seat3 = occupied ANDOR Seat4 = occupied

{

IF Seat1 = unoccupied OR Seat2 = unoccupied OR Seat3 = unoccupied OR Seat4 = unoccupied

{

                PLAY video: “My readings indicate the need for cooperation.mp4”

} REPEAT

PLAY video: “Keep the arrow in the box.mp4”

IF Arrow exits MovingBox

{

                PLAY video: “My readings indicate the need for cooperation.mp4”

} ELSEIF WAIT 10 seconds {

                PLAY video: “Congratulations Astronauts.mp4”

                IF Recipe = Original AND Pieces = 6 AND Flavor = Delicious

                {

                                PLAY video: “You completed the simulation.mp4”

                                OPEN Window

                                EXIT

                }

}

} ELSE {

PLAY video: “Please take your seats.mp4”

} REPEAT

}

 

BONUS program which takes place in Pierce’s head:

IF Crewmember says “My name is ‘Name’” STORE ‘Name’ = Crewname1

ANDIF Crewmember says “I hate to pull reality on you ‘Name’” STORE ‘Name’ = Capname

PLAY video: “Please take your seats.mp4”

If you can spot the anachronistic coding mistake (It’s written in pseudocode so won’t make sense in any coding language anyway, but there’s still a detail that wouldn’t appear in this program), please feel free to point it out in the comments below. Don't explain the existence of this post though.