Christmas Quickie

Just a funny update; I have a few funny stories about Christmas this year

But first, a TV recommendation (UK only, for now anyway)

The Nativity Goes Wrong (iPlayer) 

For the few of you who don't know, it's a Christmas special of The Goes Wrong Show, which is a show about an inept group of amateur actors who are trying to perform a play, but everything that can go wrong does.

Story One!

I have a Cadbury advent calendar. This is not particularly interesting in itself, but I noticed something interesting on one of the days. On every day, you open a cardboard window and there is a chocolate behind it. On the other side of the door there is a short message, such as Can you do a Christmas Dance? or Have you written to Santa?

The day that has been causing the most trouble is Day 4, but my issue is with Day 7. Before I tell you what it said, I think we should first establish what an Advent Calendar is supposed to do:

• Give you one chocolate/sweet/message per day
• Count down the days until Christmas
• That's it. Two things.

So what does Day 7 say?

How many days left till Christmas?

Are you kidding me Calendar? You have exactly two things to do. I have at least three, and you expect me to do one of yours as well?

Story 2!

Due to lockdown, I have ordered nearly all of this year's Christmas gifts through Amazon. I had a bit of a backlog, so I opened several of them on Sunday so I could wrap them. Naturally, I had forgotten which presents I had ordered, so opening up the boxes was just as fun for me as it will hopefully be for their intended recipients. 

As anyone who has ordered a package from Amazon knows, they are notorious for 'over boxing' their packages. I recall one time when a box half the size of a washing machine contained, you guessed it, a toothbrush (this actually happened to someone I know!). This means that the rest of the box is filled with packing. This used to be bubble wrap, but they changed this, presumably for environmental reasons, and now it's just paper.

So when I was unpacking these boxes, most of them I had to remove a large amount of paper in order to get to the gift, but in one case, I thought the box was a little light. So I removed the paper, and, nothing. Just an empty box. Stay tuned for part 2 of my trying to return an item that I never received.

Story 3!

I have a friend (We will call her F) whose birthday is in December. I ordered a present for F, but I noticed that if I ordered it when I did, it wouldn't be enough time for me to get it to F before her birthday. Therefore, I did the only logical thing and sent the present directly to F.

Here comes the problem, though. The gift didn't have an option to send a message with it, so she would have no idea who it was from! So I contacted someone she lives with (henceforth M) and told her to look out for it. 

Two days later (the day before F's birthday), she (M) contacted me to say the package hadn't arrived yet so I should check my orders. So I did, and discovered that I had in fact just had it delivered to me! I'm what the French call, Les Incompétents.

It worked out in the end though. I bought her (F) something online instead and gave her the other gift for Christmas.

The answers to the missing quiz questions are

Strict = Die Hard

Keep Calling = Jingle All the Way

Two difficulties: more difficulties = Die Hard Two: Die Harder

Bad Christmas Christmas = A Bad Mom's Christmas

The above answers were added to this post on 27 December