The View From Lower Down

Sometimes I reference the Bible in my posts, but I appreciate some of my readers may not be familiar with how to read the references. Therefore, I have decided to make this post to explain how. WARNING: Some people may find parts of this post unnecessary/obvious and/or patronising. This is not my intention, but some people do need it explaining from a basic level, so I am trying to cover everything. If you find my instructions confusing, here are some other links to try: WikiHow Wikipedia Catholic Resources (Link is not very accessible for people with reading difficulties) Bible references are composed of 3 parts: book, chapter and verse. We'll look at an example (Gen 37:3) Firstly, the brackets are not always present. This is usually only if the actual verse is directly quoted, i.e. Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made an ornate robe for him. (Gen 37:3) Below is the same reference wi...

Later in this review, there's a sentence which is in ALL CAPS (not the one about spoilers). Read it now with no context just for fun, then go back and read the rest of the review from the start. Enjoy. So, number 4. Let's get cracking. SPOILERS BELOW FOR ALL 4 TOY STORY MOVIES (AND BOTH MARY POPPINS MOVIES, FOR SOME REASON) First of all, where's the short? All Pixar movies to date have been preceded by a short film, and most of them are great. My favourite  (watch to the end, the payoff is fantastic). But the one pretty much everyone loves is this one . This video used to have my second favourite YouTube comment on it (I won't tell you the first because it's not kid-friendly): "Oh h*** no Pixar, you did not just make me cry over a ROCK." (That's not a swear word, but it offends some people so I censored it) But we're not here to talk about things that aren't the movie, so here we go. Remember when Pixar movies used to make you ...

7Up We are all fruit The judge (make Rev 21 joke) Mandela Effect

Why 1996? Everything is Sony Gameboy advance? Why is his name Fridge? Christopher Walken stunt double Mindy juggling Thanos Missing 2 feet Smoulder Cake (weakness) It's so much easier! Margaritas? Perfect casting Crawford is fly

SO. MUCH. BACKLOG. It might be the brakes... Who owns the wall? There is NO REASON. I've become the very thing I despise... Who's doing the cooking? She's not even trying now.

Dear Hollywood: STOP MAKING GOOD MOVIES! Current Backlog: Aladdin (2019) (currently witing) Toy Story 4 Joseph (musical, not movie) Spiderman: Far From Home Fiddler on the Roof (musical, not movie) Star Wars Ep I, II, III The Lion King (2019) The Hundred-foot Journey It's a good job I've got no interest in Playmobil. Screw physics! Alpha Males Queenie Princess Margaret What's her name Recycling Captain America THERE'S ONLY EIGHT !? Banter Eyebrow Deadpool playing Deadpool Brick stab

Like, I REALLY need to stop watching movies. That's 4 in one week! (Spiderman; Yesterday; Lion King and Revenge of the Sith) Nants ingonyama bagithi baba (Zulu) Shifting focus BANG Sorry but this story doesn't end well for you Life's not fair Animal puns ... And NEVER return! Some problems need Ironing out. Not green enough I can't see the clouds! New song That's not how dandelions work!

Like, I REALLY need to stop watching movies. I like trains Big B Can't drive Stones are here The Colour Purple Harry Potter Cigarettes Oasis Crouching Tiger, Hidden Sheeran Goodness Gracious Me Comic Relief White Album Big words He's not dead! Karl Marx

I need to stop watching movies for a while. Spoilers for Avengers Endgame and Spiderman Far From Home in the below notes. Captain America isn't dead Alexa Don't kill Brad! Witches Haven't seen the first one Why isn't this real? Safety First! MJ Cloudy helmet Don't take pictures Don't text and swing Missed the Skrulls The best laid plans...

Because of the upcoming Star Wars quiz, I am rewatching the Prequel Trilogy (Eps I-III, 1999-2005).  I will, therefore, be publishing a short review of all 3, and probably some stuff about the quiz itself. Here are my notes on each film: Episode I The Phantom Menace 2 Paragraphs Fight scenes Serafinowicz tennis ball Elevator scene It did, didn't it? Episode II Attack of the Clones You haven't aged The hills are alive.../Theresa May CGI clones lost the remote light cgi pear (Obi-Wan wouldn't like it/cutlery) Snoke theory Episode III Revenge of the Sith Long take Wild bantha chase And also with you But they live together! Coughing Hello Specific Kenobi Uncivilised Lots of screaming

Dear Hollywood, Please stop making movies I want to see. Not forever, you know, just for a bit so I can catch up. I'm currently 3 reviews behind and if I see Spiderman: Homecoming tomorrow that will go up to 4. I also have a Star Wars quiz coming up in 2 weeks so I need to watch all of those movies. I realise that's not actually your fault but the constant churning out of good movies is. I request that you release Lion King on July 19 as planned, then just don't release any other movies for a whole week afterwards. Keep playing the same movies, and throw out as many trailers as you want, but no new movies just yet, thanks. Sincerely, The View From Lower Down

This is the actual review of Aladdin, but fear not, the notes version will remain live, because it's funny. Check that out before reading this review, even if you've read it before, because it may have changed. Obviously, spoilers ahead for both Aladdin (1992) AND Aladdin (2019) Now this is the story all about how My life got flipped, turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the Genie in a town called Agrabah Remind me later to tell you the story of the woman with 100 children. Quick bit of backstory before I start the review. If you're not interested, skip to where it says MOVIE. As I'm sure you know, before a movie in the cinema there are about 20 minutes of adverts and trailers to sit through. My mum hates this part and thinks it's totally unnecessary, but my brother is obsessed and wants to be there for all of it. Today was my brother's turn and we were at Vue, which has...

Here is a list of some of my dreams. Try to interpret them if you dare. For more on dream interpretation, check out my  Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Review I was in the pilot of How I Met Your Mother. I have never seen a single full episode of the show, only clips. I was on Would I Lie To You and Lee (Mack) was telling a story about an oven repairman and getting ash in his face, then something to do with air conditioning (the dream ended before he finished the story) I was in Brooklyn 99 with Scully standing outside a building with a bomb in it while it was being disarmed. The bomb beeping turned out to be my alarm. I was in The Good Place, I insulted Tahani and the whole group started ignoring me (My brother says this is completely logical as Tahani is 'psychopathic'. He has seen literally one episode. I was having a conversation with Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter and Chloe Grace Moretz dressed as Wednesday Addams. Can't remember the subject. Thi...

Still 3 reviews behind, so: No short Cry. Cry. Cry. You've got... I'm trash But he's a spork The cat We're not doing that We worked really hard Opposite of Mary Poppins Lasers

Comic relief sheep DVT! Bilhah, Zilpah, Leah, Rachel What colours was it not? He wasn't born Janice How long?! Blue = Black One FEWER place Poor track record Gospel (No bongos?!) And Joseph didst not get the reference The meeting She's your mother! Dishonest coconut Full, Split, Blood, Gigundus, Ribbon Drive to London