The Wrong Phonetic Alphabet

So I used to work in tech support. My brother thinks I still do (no idea why; I haven't worked there for over five years).

Anyway, sometimes we would have to spell things out over the phone, so we would use the phonetic alphabet to avoid mishearing. This is the main reason for the phonetic alphabet. For example, if I was spelling a word with the letter M in it, you might mishear that as N (this is the simplest mishearing, and most other letters it's not so much of a problem).

For this reason, NATO developed the Phonetic Alphabet during World War I. The full list is:

A - Alpha/Alfa

B - Bravo

C - Charlie

D - Delta

E - Echo

F - Foxtrot

G - Golf

H - Hotel

I - India

J - Juliet

K - Kilo

L - Lima

M - Mike

N - November

O - Oscar

P - Papa

Q - Quebec

R - Romeo

S - Sierra

T - Tango

U - Uniform

V - Victor

W - Whiskey

X - X-ray

Y - Yankee

Z - Zulu

Now I already knew this because of unrelated circumstances (I can't remember what; I was probably just bored one day). On the other hand, my colleague did not know it. I tried to teach him several times, but with no success. 

That was fine as we didn't need to do it often, but on the occasions when we did, the letter that came up most (that I remember; I may just be remembering it wrong) was F, and my colleague would always say 'F for Freddie'. I don't know why this annoyed me, but it did. I think the main reason is that it was always the same.

Disclaimer: If you are reading this and have worked out that I'm talking about you, the problem was with me, not you.

Anyway, I'm going to prove now that it's not necessary to always use the same words every time just by looking around the room that I'm in (obviously letters such as Q and X may be difficult, but I've mentioned when I had to make it up).

A - Alarm [clock]

B - Book

C - Computer

D - Desk

E - Exit (tenuous I know, but I promise there is one here)

F - Finger

G - 

H - Hand

I - 

J - Jumper

K - 

L - Lego

M - Mug

N - Nail

O - 

P - Plug

Q - Question

R - Remote

S - Screen

T - Television

U - 

V - 

W - Window

X - X-ray (not actually in here but you try)

Y - 

Z - Zip

That took me an alarmingly long time. But now for something more fun, the anti-phonetic alphabet, in which all the letters are used the same way but are mostly silent or pronounced wrong:

There are other versions of this that exist but this is the one I made up.

A - 

B - 

C - Cesspit

D - 

E - 

F - 

G - Gelatin

H - Honour

I - 

J - Jalapeno

K - Knuckle

L - 

M - Mnemonic

N - 

O - 

P - Pterodactyl

Q - Qi (pronounced 'key'; useful in Scrabble)

R - 

S - 

T - 

U - 

V - 

W - Write

X - Xylophone

Y - You

Z - 

Fun fact for you: The French word for 'birds' has seven letters in it. Not one of them is pronounced correctly.