Gwyneth Paltrow isn't dead! - Magic Goes Wrong review

DO NOT SKIM TO THE BOTTOM OF THE REVIEW. I didn't think I would have to say that, but apparently, I do. You know who you are.

Key:
MGW = Magic Goes Wrong
TPTGW = The Play That Goes Wrong
PPGW = Peter Pan Goes Wrong
MT = Mischief Theatre
GU = Groan Ups
TGWS = The Goes Wrong Show

For my notes, click the link.

If you can't be bothered to read the entire review (coming in at a whopping 4553 words), you may be suffering from an illness known as not being completely nuts. Therefore, here's a link to the short review.

Too late - Unfortunately, I saw MGW after the 'proper' reviewers saw it, so my review will be too late to make the top of Google's search list. Nevertheless, I'm still going to try to maximize my SEO (What's SEO, I hear you ask? Check out my GU review to find out) though. I've put it at the bottom though because there are so many keywords to include.

Art Imitates Life - No, I didn't encounter a magician on my way to the theatre. No, I didn't see any of the cast on the street. No, there were no major problems with my journey to London (at least, no more than can be expected). What happened was, I was nearly SAWN IN HALF. Yeah.

The last time we visited the Vaudeville, we went by train to Euston, then got the bus to fairly near the theatre. This time, there was a problem with the train, so we drove down to Stanmore instead, then got the DLR to Inner London. This is all well and good, but it meant that instead of buses, we were mainly following the tube.

SIDE NOTE: The London Underground (not the political movement!) is, as a rule, inaccessible. You may have seen the 'Race the Tube' video on YouTube, but have you seen the parody where someone tries to do the same in a wheelchair? Very interesting...

Props to the 3 people who got the obscure joke in the above paragraph.

Anyway, back to my being SAWN IN HALF. As anyone knows, the correct way to get on and off a bus/train/lift is:

1. Everyone who wants to get off, gets off.
2. Everyone who wants to get on, gets on.
3. Bus/train/lift doors shut.
4. Bus/train/lift leaves.

Here's what happened to the train I tried to get on:

1. Everyone who wanted to get off, got off.
2. I (someone who wanted to get on) got HALFWAY on.
3. The train doors shut.
4. The train doors opened
5. We got on the train
6. The driver puts an announcement saying 'please do not obstruct the doors'.

Please do not slam your doors on my body! Fortunately, it only slammed on my wheelchair, so no actual damage was done.

Accessibility - Once again, same access problems as GU, but this time we decided to take advantage of the stair climber (YouTube demonstration) which was mentioned in passing when we left last time (full story).

The disadvantage of this is that it requires the stairs to be completely clear, so we had to wait for most of the audience (including, for some reason, Jonathan Sayer trying and failing to be inconspicuous) to go in before we could. We were reassured on several occasions that the show wouldn't start until we were in though.

In the end, we were in while the pre-show was still going on (a staple of the Goes Wrong shows (PPGW and TPTGW), with actors running around not-so-subtly looking for doves.

Spike (Stage technician): Could you be a bit more subtle?

Sophisticato (dressed like this and wildly flailing a comically large net around in the middle of the audience): I'm being inconspicuous! No one seems to have noticed me yet!

Cast/Creative - In case you didn't know, MGW is a collaborative project between MT and Penn & Teller (henceforth P&T). For more information click here.

Not Comic Relief - You may have seen this video from Comic Relief 2019, which was supposedly an excerpt from MGW. This is not the case.

• Rob Beckett wasn't hosting/compering (but you probably guessed that)
• Nancy Zamit does not play Miss Lois Duval
• Dave Hearn does not play 'generic assistant'
• Charlie Russell isn't even in it 

Pre-show - As I mentioned above, there are pre-show antics just like the other Goes Wrong shows, on this occasion mostly involving cast/crew members wandering through the audience with large nets looking for doves.

Sophisticato (Having just ensnared a woman with white hair): I am so sorry, I thought that was a dove on your head.

WARNING: If you have white hair and suffer from claustrophobia/panic attacks etc. avoid anyone with a net during the pre-show.

At one point, this happens:

Sayer (character name unclear even after seeing the show AND reading the programme): Everybody calm down, we just need to find a few more doves before we can start the show.

Spike: We have no idea who this man is, he's just a regular audience member!

Sayer: I agree, there are no stooges in this show! (He has been saying this to every audience member he encounters)

Magical Glossary

At certain points in this review, I will be using magical/theatre terms, and these will be explained in short glossary sections throughout.

Stooge (n.) - someone planted in the audience who knows how the trick works and will be selected by the magician "at random" to be part of a magic trick. (More detailed example later in the review)

Henry - Anyone who has read my notes and is familiar with MT will probably assume that I was talking about Henry Lewis or Henry Shields, members of the cast, and two out of the 5 writers. I was, in fact, talking about Henry the Hoover. 

During the pre-show, someone had supposedly spilled something (I didn't see what) and all the 'actual' theatre crew were busy looking for doves, so they just gave a Henry Hoover to an audience member to clean up the mess.

1001 words in before starting the review! New record!

The set was relatively simple but was surrounded by this banner. Some of the letters were already blinking, so it seemed reasonable to assume that several of them would go out later in the performance, probably leaving letters that spelt something funny/rude.

SPOILER: Yes. (No spoilers of what in this review)

So the show started roughly on time (impressive seeing as they had to let in the entire audience, then get 2 wheelchairs in using the stair climber). We were then introduced to Sophisticato, the lead magician and compere of the show. It turned out that this was a fundraiser for magicians who suffer injuries due to magic tricks going wrong (Disasters in Magic).

DISCLAIMER: This is not a real charity; please do not try to donate to it.

Sophisticato explains that his father (the original Sophisticato) died by being crushed by his props and that's what inspired the show. We are then treated to a quick round of introductions:

Magician, singer and possibly my mother, Eugenia!

 

American daredevil magician The Blade! (He runs on and does this, then runs off again)

A mentalist my father met in a motorway service station on the M40

"A40!"

"A40, sorry. Not even a motorway..."

The Mind Mangler! (Curtain raises to reveal this; he tries to leave but ends up trapped in the bubble)

The only two of my father's illegitimate children he ever acknowledged, Bär und Spitzmaus!

And finally, the Great Escapo the Escapologist! (His name was funnier than this, but unfortunately, I can't remember what it was)

UPDATE: I have now seen the show twice, making a particular point of trying to remember the escapologist's name, and I still can't remember.

Magical Glossary

Escapologist (n.) - Type of magician who specialises in escaping from locks, e.g. safes, handcuffs, straitjackets, etc. The most famous example is probably Harry Houdini. 

Escapo is shown locked in a safe suspended from the ceiling. An assistant goes to prove that the safe is real by jiggling the handle on the safe door. The handle comes off in her hand.

SIDE NOTE: Escapo is shown several times in the safe, but never emerges, so the safe is probably, in reality, an empty box.

Magical Glossary

Empty Box (n.) - Box which is empty.

At this point, I should note that although this is Magic Goes Wrong, there's also a fair amount of Magic that goes right, including the appearance of Eugenia. I'll go into more details below about some of those below, but if you want to see how Eugenia appears, you'll have to go see it yourself.

MGW is harder to review than other shows/movies because it does not really have a linear plot. Instead, I will break down some of the acts performed by each magician, deliberately in the wrong order and deliberately leaving out some of the tricks.

The Blade

When he does his first set, The Blade (Dave Hearn) shows a number of newspaper clippings relating to his acts. Want to know what they are? Go see it yourself. I promise you won't be disappointed. As a taster, one of the headlines is

Hated Magician refused groin treatment

Throughout the show, he is often supported by Bär (Nancy Zamit), who obviously fancies him, but keeps injuring him due to the language barrier (more on that below), as well as one instance of hilarious confusion with the stage technician.

Throughout the show, Blade:

• Is 
• Stabbed
• Impaled
• Drowned (This is actually an old P&T act, see here for the trick, although MGW was with an audience member, not a Python)
• Loses a limb (I'm not telling you which one)
• Loses the use of his tongue and talks odd for the rest of the show
• Pokes a needle through his arm (what this looks like; DO NOT Google unless you want to see how the trick works. WARNING: Gruesome)
• Is humiliatingly stripped naked
• Reenacts Penn's scene from Borderlands 3

Only some of these are tricks, the rest are real.

Bär unt Spitzmaus

As I mentioned earlier, Bär unt Spitzmaus (Nancy Zamit and Bryony Corrigan respectively) are Sophisticato Sr.'s illegitimate children. As the names might suggest, they are German, but Bär speaks little English, leading to Blade's multiple stabbings.

In their first set, they do some gymnastics/contortionism and it quickly becomes clear that Spitzmaus is the more flexible of the 2.

In this picture, Spitzmaus is really doing the splits, but Bär is not doing an impression of a wheel; this is a prop because she didn't want to be upstaged

Theatre Glossary

Contortionist (n.) - A performer who can 'contort' themself into shapes not typically used by humans. Example (If the video starts to make you feel uncomfortable, click away. It only gets worse)
DO NOT try this at home.

Surprisingly, the position Bär was pretending to be in is technically possible to achieve. Again, and I cannot express this enough, DO NOT try this at home. Professionals train for YEARS before they are able to do stunts like that.

This is further proved when Spitzmaus fits herself into a perspex box (another popular contortionist trick, sometimes achieved with a suitcase). Bär, not wanting to be one-upped again, finds another, implausibly small perspex box and obviously fails to get into it. she tries to compensate by stuffing the puppet into the box, but even that doesn't fit.

Later, they do another set, this time involving a quick-change routine.

Magical Glossary

Quick-change routine (n.) - Magic act in which the performer rapidly changes outfits at a seemingly impossible pace. 

Example (act starts at 2:10)

Bär is actually performing, with Spitzmaus providing some narration, but possibly thanks to the language barrier, Bär does not seem aware of what's going on and is utterly bemused about why everyone thinks the quick changes are so impressive. She continues this indifference as she casually climbs into a cannon.

Spitzmaus continues narrating, saying that her sister will be fired from the cannon, through a quick change outfit that she is holding, into a box on the other side of the stage, which is shown by stagehands to be empty.

Magical Glossary

Empty Box (n.) - Box which is empty.

The cannon is fired and Bär instantly appears from the box in a different outfit. I PROMISE it's better on stage than written down!

In another act, Bär is placed into a cage, to be turned into her spirit animal, a bear! The cage is covered by a cloth for a second, which is then removed, revealing the bear!

However, the audience's applause quickly turns to laughter as the bear escapes the cage and runs offstage. The secret of the trick is revealed (I'm not telling you how) and the people onstage look horrified and run after it.

I should clarify at this point that it's not a real bear, just a person in a terrifyingly realistic suit.

Later, the bear is revealed by Sophisticato to have escaped and made its way to Trafalgar Square. Remember that.

Mind Mangler

The Mind Mangler (MM, played by Henry Lewis) is a mentalist.

Magical Glossary

Mentalist (n.) - Type of magician who specialises in tricks of the mind, including mind-reading and hypnosis.

MM is frequently the butt of the jokes, by which I mean either the audience or the crew are usually the ones making him suffer, rather than his tricks going wrong like the other magicians.

He uses a form of storytelling while explaining how he does his mentalism, explaining that he can use his five senses in ways others can't:

I can taste people's names...

For his first trick, he writes something on a whiteboard, then points to a person in the audience:

MM: Your name is... John
Audience member: Nope.
MM: Well do you know a John?
A: No.
MM: You don't know a John? How can you not know a John? Alright, is someone else called John? There's a lot of people here, I might be tasting someone else...

And thus began one of several running jokes involving MM, this being that whenever an audience member was asked their name, they nearly always said John ("Where were you earlier?!"). The other running jokes include (SPOILERS)

1. When he is introduced, sound effects are used.

MM: I can read your mind...
SFX: MIND mind mind mind mind 

Later, this is used by the tech team to wind him up repeatedly:

MM: Would you mind-
SFX: MIND mind mind mind mind 
MM: STOP DOING THAT!!

2. There are several reveals used

Magical Glossary

Reveal (n.) - Showing the result of a trick, e.g. Was this your card? etc.
Do not confuse with revealing how a trick is done.

These reveals include

A giant banner saying YOUR NAME IS DENISE ("No, it's Lisa")
Bär coming out wearing an outfit with the 3 of Clubs on it ("NOT NOW!")

The reveals are trotted out at random throughout the rest of the show

3. The teleprompter

MM appears to be using a teleprompter some of the time, but the tech team are using it to wind him up:

MM (talking about a crystal ball): This crystal ball has been passed down many generations, from medium to medium, and now to large... STOP DOING THAT!

Magical Glossary

Medium (n.) - Someone who claims to be able to communicate with the dead
Large (adj.) - Big

4. The clueless stooge (see above for definition)

The stooge, played by Jonathan Sayer, is first introduced in one of MM's acts. The following interchange happens:

MM: For this trick, I need a member of the audience (lots of hands shoot up) No, not you, you're far too keen..
Stooge (From behind the audience): I'LL DO IT!

Once on stage, he is handed a microphone by Spitzmaus and asked to think of a card.

S: Three of Clubs!
(Bär enters wearing an outfit with the 3 of Clubs on it. MM waves her away)
MM: You're not supposed to tell me! Think of another card!
S: Four of Clubs!
MM: You're still not supposed to tell me! Think of another card but DON'T TELL ME WHAT IT IS!
S: OK.
Audience Member: Five of Clubs!
MM: Stop doing that!
S: It was the five of clubs! Hey, you should have his job!

The stooge comes out 3 times, supposedly as different people by wearing glasses and a false beard.

Of course, not everything MM does goes wrong. There are some genuinely incredible tricks, including a simple one where he guesses a colour that a (genuine) audience member is thinking of

MM (Writes something on a whiteboard invisible to audience): Name a colour.
A: Beige.
MM: Beige?! BEIGE?! Well I mean, it is beige, but that's not the point... (Reveals whiteboard, which says BEIGE)

I for one have no idea how this is done. Even AFTER Googling it.

UPDATE; I have since discovered how this is done. I was not satisfied.

Less impressive is him guessing where people work.

MM: Where do you work?
A: I work in a daycare centre.
MM: Aha, you see I knew that because I wrote down earlier that you work.. (He pulls a card from his back pocket and shows it to the audience) Indoors! What about you at the back?
A: I work in health and safety, assessing stair safety.
MM: See, I knew that as well because I wrote down earlier that you have a... (retrieves card from inside jacket pocket) Vague job.

WARNING: I AM ABOUT TO REVEAL HOW THIS TRICK IS DONE. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW, SKIP THE NEXT PARAGRAPH

It's actually a very simple trick. There are several answers to that question and he simply has them all hidden in different places around his person. However, in the case of occupation, there are literally thousands of possible answers, so he instead divides them into categories, which conveniently works very well with the comedy aspect. This trick can be easily adapted for many purposes. P&T even do a version with all 52 cards in a deck tattooed all over their bodies!

OKAY, IT'S SAFE TO READ AGAIN

He correctly predicts that somebody is from Kent in a hilarious way, but if you want to find out how,  you'll have to go see it yourself.

While asking about people's jobs, he discovers that about six people in a row are auditors, and even more unlikelyly (is that a word? I'm using it anyway.), they did not come together!

The auditors come up later when MM tries to do the spike in a bag trick.

How this is done.

He puts the spike in the bag and while he is looking away, 'Brian' starts shuffling the bags.

MM: I told you before! Only shuffle them while I'm LOOKING, otherwise, I can't tell which bags are safe!

Before selecting a bag, MM asked one of the auditors which bag he thought was safe:

MM: This one?
A: Yes.
MM: Are you sure?
A: Yes.
MM: How sure?
A: 20%.

Then, the unexpected happened. Henry Lewis (MM) corpsed.

Theatre Glossary

Corpsing (v.) - breaking out of character, usually by laughing. More info

As a sometime comedy writer myself (does this blog count? You decide...) I can confirm that when you're performing work that you've written yourself, especially if it has been rehearsed multiple times, seems not as funny to yourself (this doesn't mean that it isn't funny, just that you are 'immune' to the hilarity), which is why most corpsing happens due to improvisation or ad-libbing.

Theatre Glossary

Ad-libbing (v.) - usually deliberate additions to a scripted piece, sometimes due to forgetting the actual line, sometimes as a reaction to someone else ad-libbing, sometimes just to try to make the script funnier.

Henry broke down because he wasn't expecting such a literal and statistically correct answer! Therefore, he had to ad-lib:

MM: This is what happens when you ask auditors questions! Right, I'm asking someone else!

How the spike-in-a-bag trick is done (I don't know how this version was done though, as this version used a broken bottle instead of a spike! I can guess though).

Sophisticato

Sophisticato, played by Henry Shields, is in a way the main character, and his backstory is that his father (the original Sophisticato) would not let him get into magic, hence the props all being in the attic and subsequent father-crushing. This means that he does not have a specialism, unlike the other performers.

Therefore, he has the most varied routines, and most of his tricks are ensemble pieces.

Theatre Glossary

Ensemble piece (n.) - sketch or play involving multiple characters but not necessarily with a 'main' character.


Sophisticato is also responsible for keeping track of how much money has been made for the Disasters in Magic charity (Once again, not a real charity; please do not donate) via a totaliser which regularly appears. There are multiple celebrity magician donors via 'live' video link, each making the money appear in a magic trick, then accidentally losing it:

David Copperfield makes £10,000 appear in cash under a perspex box (Totaliser shows £10,000), then removes the box, causing the money to blow away (Totaliser goes down to £0). Before the satellite link collapses, he says he will still be taking his fee (Totaliser goes down to £-3175.37).

In reality, Copperfield donated his fee to Great Ormond Street Hospital, a real and worthwhile charity which you can donate to.

Dynamo says he will make P&T appear behind a curtain with £10,000. Penn appears, bound and gagged. He spits out the gag, then yells

"Teller stole the money!"

This part of the show must have been confusing when Penn watched the show himself a few days ago.

Derren Brown is shown in Trafalgar Square about to make the money appear. I already told you the punchline to this one.

Onstage, Eugenia promises to donate £100,000, but first, she is involved in a magic trick, the traditional 'saw a lady in half' trick. This, like the trick where The Blade was drowned, is an old P&T act. It involves showing the audience how the trick is done and how it is completely safe, then the safety precautions being removed and the trick going horribly wrong.

In this version, they build up the comedy factor by going way over the top with the safety precautions. Sophisticato and MM wear safety goggles while operating the saw to protect their eyes from sawdust, Eugenia wears ear defenders and the entire area on the stage is cordoned off using cones.

This is a cause of more hilarity. MM trips over one of the cones, and Bär uprights it and places 3 smaller cones around it. (Yet another joke which is hilarious in real life but extremely boring written down).

Just after they accidentally saw Eugenia in half, everyone looks panicked and Sophisticato says

Speaking of halves, that's the end of the first one...


When we returned, a short memorial service was being held for magicians who had died that year, including the ones who died during the show, each with hilarious reasons. You'll have to see the show to find out what.

The cast and crew are all holding candles while the names are being projected onto the screen behind them. At the end they try to blow them out, without success.

Spike: There's a switch on the bottom. (All turn their candles over and switch them off)


Sophisticato also does a routine in which he tries to make Spitzmaus float. She lies on a platform and he covers her with a sheet, then she starts to float.

How this trick works.

He goes to wave the ring around her, but while his back is turned, she completely floats away. Don't worry though, she comes down quickly enough. By which I mean she falls the 30 or so feet to the ground. THAT'S the trick I couldn't figure out.

UPDATE: It's a simple Texas Switch; the same effect was used in PPGW. I have no idea how I missed this.

Sophisticato's main solo routine involves doves. He makes several doves appear from about his person, but it becomes increasingly obvious that they are all dead. I don't want to spoil the finale of this act, but I will say this:

This picture is probably the picture most used in marketing for the show, and if you are like me, you are probably thinking
"Surely that's way too many feathers!"
Having seen the show, I can confirm that it's not nearly ENOUGH.


There are a couple of actual (mostly serious) plot threads running through the show, one of which is Sophisticato's wand. According to Bär und Spitzmaus, when a magician dies, their wand should be snapped in two. Sophisticato (Jr) is unwilling to do this, as the wand is so expensive, and at the start of Act 2, he instead snaps a cheaper wand, although Bär und Spitzmaus are still not happy.

At the end, the real wand is snapped by accident.

(A woman is literally violently murdered on stage)
Audience: >Uproarious laughter<
(A stick accidentally gets snapped)
Audience: >Audible gasps<

Just saying.

SPOILERS BELOW

The wand contains a note from Sophisticato Sr. to his son saying he didn't want him to become a magician because for every David Copperfield there's 100 losers who hang around in service stations on the A40.

MM: Hey!

I'm also pretty sure Eugenia was your mother...


After this revelation, they consider cancelling the finale, but eventually decide to go ahead with it.

No, I'm not going to spoil the finale, except to say that:

• 'The Great Escapo' was involved
• It 'went wrong'
• It had an Egyptian theme
• I think the Stair Safety guy from MM's first set was a plant. Either that or they got REALLY lucky. Like, REALLY lucky.

As with other Mischief Theatre productions, the show ended with the cast breaking character

Theatre Glossary

Breaking character (n.) - Not pretending to play a character any more and instead, speaking as an actor.

and speaking directly to the audience. This usually consists of them saying:

Thank you for coming, we are Mischief Theatre, we have other productions on in the West End (links below), go and see them.

However, because this is Magic Goes Wrong, Henry Lewis (Mind Mangler) had a crack at another magic trick:

H: (points to random audience member) Lucy?
A: No.
H: Fair enough. What is your name then?
A: Leslie.
H: Well, let's face it, I wasn't very likely to get it right... But maybe the Mind Mangler would!

I'm not going to spoil the reveal, but suffice to say it's also hidden in this review, along with 2 other jokes.

Summary

Mischief Theatre's latest madcap performance is a spectacular display of what they are best at. Go in expecting a spectacle, with plenty of laughs thrown in for good measure. The hilarious writing talents of Mischief, combined with the magical expertise of Penn and Teller, combine to form a uniquely creative piece which showcases the trademark slapstick and dangerous stunts of Mischief Theatre interspersed with genuinely impressive magic tricks.

A tour has been hinted at (DISCLAIMER: I do not have any official confirmation of this, so don't take my word as gospel!), so if you can't catch it in the West End before it closes on April 30, don't worry!

UPDATE: Magic Goes Wrong has now been extended to August 30, although it has not yet been confirmed if that will be with the original cast.

Other Mischief Theatre Productions (productions available worldwide, but links below are for booking UK tickets)

Magic Goes Wrong (Co-written with Penn and Teller) opens in the Vaudeville Theatre from 14 December onwards. Book here
The award-winning The Play That Goes Wrong, now in its 5th year at the Duchess Theatre. Book here
The award-winning The Comedy About A Bank Robbery, still in The Criterion Theatre. Book here
Peter Pan Goes Wrong, going on tour from 19 October onwards. Book here

On Television

The Goes Wrong show - Catch up on iPlayer. Read my blog on how to enjoy it even more.

The Royal Variety Show 2019 - Extract from Groan Ups (No longer on ITV player but available on YouTube)


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