The View From Lower Down

Like, I REALLY need to stop watching movies. That's 4 in one week! (Spiderman; Yesterday; Lion King and Revenge of the Sith) Nants ingonyama bagithi baba (Zulu) Shifting focus BANG Sorry but this story doesn't end well for you Life's not fair Animal puns ... And NEVER return! Some problems need Ironing out. Not green enough I can't see the clouds! New song That's not how dandelions work!

Like, I REALLY need to stop watching movies. I like trains Big B Can't drive Stones are here The Colour Purple Harry Potter Cigarettes Oasis Crouching Tiger, Hidden Sheeran Goodness Gracious Me Comic Relief White Album Big words He's not dead! Karl Marx

I need to stop watching movies for a while. Spoilers for Avengers Endgame and Spiderman Far From Home in the below notes. Captain America isn't dead Alexa Don't kill Brad! Witches Haven't seen the first one Why isn't this real? Safety First! MJ Cloudy helmet Don't take pictures Don't text and swing Missed the Skrulls The best laid plans...

Because of the upcoming Star Wars quiz, I am rewatching the Prequel Trilogy (Eps I-III, 1999-2005).  I will, therefore, be publishing a short review of all 3, and probably some stuff about the quiz itself. Here are my notes on each film: Episode I The Phantom Menace 2 Paragraphs Fight scenes Serafinowicz tennis ball Elevator scene It did, didn't it? Episode II Attack of the Clones You haven't aged The hills are alive.../Theresa May CGI clones lost the remote light cgi pear (Obi-Wan wouldn't like it/cutlery) Snoke theory Episode III Revenge of the Sith Long take Wild bantha chase And also with you But they live together! Coughing Hello Specific Kenobi Uncivilised Lots of screaming

Dear Hollywood, Please stop making movies I want to see. Not forever, you know, just for a bit so I can catch up. I'm currently 3 reviews behind and if I see Spiderman: Homecoming tomorrow that will go up to 4. I also have a Star Wars quiz coming up in 2 weeks so I need to watch all of those movies. I realise that's not actually your fault but the constant churning out of good movies is. I request that you release Lion King on July 19 as planned, then just don't release any other movies for a whole week afterwards. Keep playing the same movies, and throw out as many trailers as you want, but no new movies just yet, thanks. Sincerely, The View From Lower Down

This is the actual review of Aladdin, but fear not, the notes version will remain live, because it's funny. Check that out before reading this review, even if you've read it before, because it may have changed. Obviously, spoilers ahead for both Aladdin (1992) AND Aladdin (2019) Now this is the story all about how My life got flipped, turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the Genie in a town called Agrabah Remind me later to tell you the story of the woman with 100 children. Quick bit of backstory before I start the review. If you're not interested, skip to where it says MOVIE. As I'm sure you know, before a movie in the cinema there are about 20 minutes of adverts and trailers to sit through. My mum hates this part and thinks it's totally unnecessary, but my brother is obsessed and wants to be there for all of it. Today was my brother's turn and we were at Vue, which has

Here is a list of some of my dreams. Try to interpret them if you dare. For more on dream interpretation, check out my  Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Review I was in the pilot of How I Met Your Mother. I have never seen a single full episode of the show, only clips. I was on Would I Lie To You and Lee (Mack) was telling a story about an oven repairman and getting ash in his face, then something to do with air conditioning (the dream ended before he finished the story) I was in Brooklyn 99 with Scully standing outside a building with a bomb in it while it was being disarmed. The bomb beeping turned out to be my alarm. I was in The Good Place, I insulted Tahani and the whole group started ignoring me (My brother says this is completely logical as Tahani is 'psychopathic'. He has seen literally one episode. I was having a conversation with Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter and Chloe Grace Moretz dressed as Wednesday Addams. Can't remember the subject. Thi

Still 3 reviews behind, so: No short Cry. Cry. Cry. You've got... I'm trash But he's a spork The cat We're not doing that We worked really hard Opposite of Mary Poppins Lasers