The View From Lower Down

Like, I REALLY need to stop watching movies. That's 4 in one week! (Spiderman; Yesterday; Lion King and Revenge of the Sith) Nants ingonyama bagithi baba (Zulu) Shifting focus BANG Sorry but this story doesn't end well for you Life's not fair Animal puns ... And NEVER return! Some problems need Ironing out. Not green enough I can't see the clouds! New song That's not how dandelions work!

Like, I REALLY need to stop watching movies. I like trains Big B Can't drive Stones are here The Colour Purple Harry Potter Cigarettes Oasis Crouching Tiger, Hidden Sheeran Goodness Gracious Me Comic Relief White Album Big words He's not dead! Karl Marx

I need to stop watching movies for a while. Spoilers for Avengers Endgame and Spiderman Far From Home in the below notes. Captain America isn't dead Alexa Don't kill Brad! Witches Haven't seen the first one Why isn't this real? Safety First! MJ Cloudy helmet Don't take pictures Don't text and swing Missed the Skrulls The best laid plans...

Because of the upcoming Star Wars quiz, I am rewatching the Prequel Trilogy (Eps I-III, 1999-2005).  I will, therefore, be publishing a short review of all 3, and probably some stuff about the quiz itself. Here are my notes on each film: Episode I The Phantom Menace 2 Paragraphs Fight scenes Serafinowicz tennis ball Elevator scene It did, didn't it? Episode II Attack of the Clones You haven't aged The hills are alive.../Theresa May CGI clones lost the remote light cgi pear (Obi-Wan wouldn't like it/cutlery) Snoke theory Episode III Revenge of the Sith Long take Wild bantha chase And also with you But they live together! Coughing Hello Specific Kenobi Uncivilised Lots of screaming

Dear Hollywood, Please stop making movies I want to see. Not forever, you know, just for a bit so I can catch up. I'm currently 3 reviews behind and if I see Spiderman: Homecoming tomorrow that will go up to 4. I also have a Star Wars quiz coming up in 2 weeks so I need to watch all of those movies. I realise that's not actually your fault but the constant churning out of good movies is. I request that you release Lion King on July 19 as planned, then just don't release any other movies for a whole week afterwards. Keep playing the same movies, and throw out as many trailers as you want, but no new movies just yet, thanks. Sincerely, The View From Lower Down

This is the actual review of Aladdin, but fear not, the notes version will remain live, because it's funny. Check that out before reading this review, even if you've read it before, because it may have changed. Obviously, spoilers ahead for both Aladdin (1992) AND Aladdin (2019) Now this is the story all about how My life got flipped, turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the Genie in a town called Agrabah Remind me later to tell you the story of the woman with 100 children. Quick bit of backstory before I start the review. If you're not interested, skip to where it says MOVIE. As I'm sure you know, before a movie in the cinema there are about 20 minutes of adverts and trailers to sit through. My mum hates this part and thinks it's totally unnecessary, but my brother is obsessed and wants to be there for all of it. Today was my brother's turn and we were at Vue, which has...

Here is a list of some of my dreams. Try to interpret them if you dare. For more on dream interpretation, check out my  Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Review I was in the pilot of How I Met Your Mother. I have never seen a single full episode of the show, only clips. I was on Would I Lie To You and Lee (Mack) was telling a story about an oven repairman and getting ash in his face, then something to do with air conditioning (the dream ended before he finished the story) I was in Brooklyn 99 with Scully standing outside a building with a bomb in it while it was being disarmed. The bomb beeping turned out to be my alarm. I was in The Good Place, I insulted Tahani and the whole group started ignoring me (My brother says this is completely logical as Tahani is 'psychopathic'. He has seen literally one episode. I was having a conversation with Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter and Chloe Grace Moretz dressed as Wednesday Addams. Can't remember the subject. Thi...

Still 3 reviews behind, so: No short Cry. Cry. Cry. You've got... I'm trash But he's a spork The cat We're not doing that We worked really hard Opposite of Mary Poppins Lasers

Comic relief sheep DVT! Bilhah, Zilpah, Leah, Rachel What colours was it not? He wasn't born Janice How long?! Blue = Black One FEWER place Poor track record Gospel (No bongos?!) And Joseph didst not get the reference The meeting She's your mother! Dishonest coconut Full, Split, Blood, Gigundus, Ribbon Drive to London

My previous notes-only post received good reviews, so I'm doing it again. To clarify, this is a review of the STAGE SHOW, currently playing at The Playhouse Theatre (limited run only) not the movie. Stairs Fiddler (Admittedly, at this stage the notes aren't nearly as funny or interesting as Aladdin) The shoemaker's daughter Bottle drop Wait, that's a GOOD thing! Pause! On the other hand... A bird may love a fish The good book sick chicken

If you don't know what Speechless is, check out my overall review . Full transcript available here , although it doesn't split up who says what. I'm not sure exactly how long this episode had to be made, but by my calculations, the series cancellation was after the final episode of Series 3 aired (sources: IMDb and contacting Kyla Kenedy (Dylan) on May 10 ). This is very weird because the final episode seemed to finish the story quite well. Series 3 has been heavily focused on JJ getting ready for college (British translation: University). He originally wanted to go to NYU (The U stands for University! Why do they call it college?!), but  JJ has a girlfriend, Izzy (played by Kayla Maisonet , who looks about 15 but is in fact nearly 20! (Kayla, if you ever read this, please don't take offense. If it's any consolation, my brother thinks you look 25)). The other series have ended on (sort of) cliffhangers, with S1 ending with JJ going to summer camp (in S2 wil...

Apologies for interrupting the usual schedule of blogs. I promise Rocketman (NOT Family-friendly) is nearly finished and Aladdin (Family-friendly) notes are in place to be started ASAP, but unfortunately, this review takes precedence as it concerns a program currently on All4 , but is rapidly approaching removal and I want to try to get the show renewed since its cancellation. Before I start, watch the first 30 seconds of this video . I asked you to do that because one of the funniest moments is the shock value of the pilot's cold opening, which I cannot find anywhere else. Unlike my Big Bang Theory Finale review, this review concerns a relatively unknown sitcom, so it will require some describing before I publish the review. Speechless is a fairly standard family sitcom with a small main cast. There's a mother (Maya), a father (Jimmy), 2 sons (JJ and Ray), and a daughter (Dylan). They get into various hijinks, usually involving the school that the kids go ...

I thought you might like to see my notes for my Aladdin review. As I write this, I'm still halfway through writing my Rocketman review, so I've written some notes so I don't forget to include certain things. I thought that my notes were so bizarre and vague that I thought I might publish this first to whet (yes, there's supposed to be an H there) your appetite. Enjoy... This is a story... Adverts Vue Playmobil Doesn't try Why is he Scottish? Grey area Mild fantasy threat (arm, lava) Recognise? Speechless Rapping Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Where is she? Sultan Jafar Iago Tudyk movie Raises more questions how many wheelchairs? (Even I don't remember what this one means. I think it was something to do with the car park?) Scooby-Doo Batman Before you read the review, I have a lot of issues with a particular musical number. See if you can guess which one. Leave your answer in the comments.

WARNING: THIS REVIEW IS CERTIFIED 12 (PG-13). THE MOVIE IS CERTIFIED 15 (R) WARNING: SPOILERS APLENTY FEATURE IN THIS REVIEW Rocketman features a lot of adult content (drug misuse, sex, very strong language) and received an R rating in the USA and a 15 certificate in the UK . I will try to keep this review as clean as possible, but please bear this in mind if you want to see the movie yourself. The movie describes itself as 'an epic musical fantasy' and I think it delivers. This movie is about Elton John, so his name will feature a lot in the review. Most reviews seem to drop the Elton and call him John throughout the rest of the review. However, this can be confusing with mentions of John Lennon, so I shall just call him Elton. The movie opens with Elton, played by Taron Egerton (pronounced Edge-er-tun, I checked), dressed in a flamboyant devil costume. He walks down a corridor towards the camera to Goodbye Yellow Brick Road as the title flashes up on th...

SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you haven't yet seen the final double episode of The Big Bang Theory yet, do not read this review. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED E4 had a packed TBBT themed lineup from 7:30-10pm. We kicked things off with Unravelling The Mystery: A Big Bang Farewell, a behind-the-scenes tour of the set with Kaley Cuoco and Johnny Galecki (Penny and Leonard respectively). Unfortunately, I only managed to see half of that so I can't give a full review, although I'm pretty sure I've seen most of it before. So everyone had their own theory about what would happen, including the cast. Months ago, Penny star Kaley Cuoco revealed that what she wanted was for the elevator to finally be fixed . At that point, even she didn't know how the series would end, despite the fact that the finale airdate was less than 2 months later . Someone on Twitter had their own, much darker expansion of that theory ... WARNING: ONLY CLICK THE LINK IF YOU'RE OK WITH...